Renewing the Mind

Well I can safely say that the year of renewal has taken off to a good start! If you haven't already seen my post where I explain my theme for this year, go and check it out >> here <<

So the theme for January was Renewal of the Mind

And in all honesty, I started by coming up with 31 verses thinking I'd do one verse a day and see how my mindset changed. Hmm.. well that lasted long!

I only ended up doing one verse related to this, but funnily enough, all throughout the month I felt like God was prompting me in different areas and using other people to help me think about my mindset and the ways that I might not be aligned with his purpose.

1. Philippians 2:1-5

The verse that I started out with was Philippians 2:1-5, as can be seen in the photo above. I tried a new technique someone had suggested where you read the verse once, see what stands out and then read it again, trying to figure out why that bit sticks out to you. Here are the bits that really hit me:

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

I feel like I have heard all the other parts of this verse SO many times but never paid attention to those bits that are in bold, underlined and italicised.

Being united with Christ should be an encouragement, a comfort. Being likeminded and of one mind is supposed to be A COMFORT. We spend our whole lives (if you're like me) feeling like you have to give up everything from this world because it will hinder your relationship with God. If you watch something inappropriate, God won't reply to your prayers; if you don't read your Bible, God won't care about you.

It's this whole mindset of sacrifice. You have to sacrifice in order to WIN God's love and approval. HOW BACKWARDS IS THAT???

This really hit me when I started to think about how God's love and being united with Christ and of one mind with him would be a comfort and an encouragement.

Think of all the worldly things we want to do - whether it be succumbing to addiction, or wasting time - all of these things come laden with guilt or pain. If it's an addiction you are hurting yourself or those around you and you have once again fallen trap to something you overall don't want to do. If it is wasting time, you feel guilty that you will never get those moments back and now you are stressed that you don't have as much time to do the things you really should be doing.

When we follow the will of God, there is no guilt attached to the things we do. There is no need to fast-forward through inappropriate scenes in the film because there are no scenes to worry about; there is no need to turn off the worship song for a fear of inappropriate content. There is comfort because there is no worry. Nothing to screw up. This should be an encouragement and a comfort.

I realised after reading this verse that I've always seen following God as a sacrifice. that if I screw up he will discipline me and then stand aside as I have to walk through the consequences. But it isn't a sacrifice. I mean, it is, but the more you follow God's will and perfect plan, the less guilt, the less shame, the less worry there is. It reminds me of this song I grew up with from Chris Daughtry.

'Cause what I want And what I need Has now become the same thing You've been offering

Isn't that a comfort?

2. My identity within my marriage

I feel like I fell into the trap that so many other people fall into. We get told when we are in a relationship, whether dating or engaged, that we musn't place all of our hopes and dreams in this guy because for all you know he might turn around and say he no longer loves you anymore. Humans are fickle and will fail us.

BUT NOBODY SAYS THIS ABOUT MARRIAGE.

Everyone preaches that when you get married the two become one flesh and live happily ever after. I got married and (without realising it) defined my entire identity in my husband and in our relationship. To the point where I hardly spent time with God by myself, it was as a couple, I hardly saw any of my friends unless it was with Luke, AND if Luke for any reason failed me (as we all do as humans), my week was ruined.

My identity became wrapped up in my marriage and I truly forgot what it was like to be an individual. Sure I had my life at university, and at work, but everything became about Luke, to an unhealthy level.

I'm not saying you should just ignore your husband, but my mentor was helping me the other day to understand that my identity NEEDS to be in Christ because it is only then that I will be eternally full of joy. She led me to the story in John 4 of the Samaritan woman who had drunk at the well of so many men but was continually thirsty - she was never satisfied. She went through divorce after divorce to the point where she wasn't even married to the latest guy she was married to.

By finding my identity in Christ, when Luke makes a mistake, I am able to see him through Christ's eyes. I can be there for him the way a Godly wife would. I can love him the way Christ loves him because that is where my love comes from. I can forgive him the way Christ forgives because thats where my forgiveness comes from.

And Luke can do the same when I muck up. And that's not to say that I don't get hurt, but when I trust in God with my whole life I can look at the situation from above, get a birds-eye perspective, and step away from the situation to see it in its entirety rather than looking at it through the eyes of a hurt person.

3. Sacrificial Servanthood

This for me was a big revelation. I was recently at Festival One and... let me just say that it was an awesome Festival. The music was great, the people were great, it wasn't too hot, the preacher was AWESOME! and I had some incredible breakthrough's in my life.

The biggest one for me was along the lines of being selfless. I am SUCH a people-pleaser and I HATE disappointing people - to the point where it gets unhealthy, especially because I am quite the introvert.

I place a lot of emphasis on Festival One being the weekend where I reset with God - there are no distractions from secular music, secular movies, no work to do, no housework to stress about. Rather I can just be - spend time with God and be.

However, by the Sunday was losing the plot a little bit. I was surrounded by extroverts who THRIVE off being with people and most people I met wanted to have long DMC's. Now, don't get my wrong, I am totally down for a good DMC, but I also need some space to recharge. It got to the Sunday and I was losing the plot a bit.

So Sunday afternoon I went to a place called the sanctuary where they had a dedicated quite place to pray. And despite feeling utterly guilty for asking, I asked my friends around me (who I knew needed someone to pray for them) if I could have some time to myself.

Three things came out of this that completely changed my mindset.

a) Centering Prayer

I have always been one to pray and get distracted. But this 6 step prayer guide really helped me to quite down and wait upon the Lord to hear what he has to say to me.

1. Find yourself a quite place

2. Close your eyes

3. Breathe slowly

4. Find yourself a sacred word - whether it is Lord, or God, or Father - one that will anchor you and keep you thinking about God.

5. Sit and wait

6. When you notice you're in the midst of a thought, say your special word gentle inside yourself ... and let the thought float away.

While this prayer style did not bring anything specific to mind and I didn't feel like I felt God touch or speak to me, it really helped me to prepare. I let go of the stress of the day, I let go of my expectations and frustrations, I let go of my worry. And I just waited on God.

I always feel like I sit and pray and then get disappointed that I don't feel God "touch" me. But I learnt that sometimes it's not about that. It's about learning to just wait on the Lord and take comfort in his presence.

b) Even Jesus found it too much

If you are a servant leader or someone that lots of people turn to, this is a point for you. When I asked my friends to leave I felt TERRIBLE. I felt so guilty and SELFISH for wanting some space. I felt like I hadn't been God's hands and feet because I didn't push aside my needs for someone else.

But in my time of quiet, God brought to mind the life of Jesus. I was sitting there asking why I couldn't just be like Jesus who never complained. His whole life was dedicated to being there for those around him - healing, praying, and communing with.

BUT Jesus, in all his perfection, did find it too hard. Luke 22:42 says:

"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine."

Jesus found it too hard. And in a moment of pain he asked God to take away this moment where he had to be the ultimate sacrificial servant. But notice the next line. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine. It is OKAY to need some space, it is OKAY to feel like it is too much. Even JESUS felt like it was too much. And, if it is God's will, then he will take the cup from your hand. But it is OKAY to say to Him, I can't do this anymore.

But then there was this...

c) Elijah and the Widow at Zarephath

I felt like I had nothing left to give to these people in need. I felt like I had been drained apart from a small pittance of wheat at the bottom of my jar. I felt like I had only enough to give to one more person and then I would go home and die. I felt like this widow at Zarephath. If you haven't already, go and read 1 Kings 17:7-16.

It shares the story of a widow who is living through a drought in the land. She only has enough for one more piece of bread and a tiny bit of olive oil. She has to feed herself and her son. But after they have eaten this, she believes they will both die of starvation.

But Elijah comes to her and says that God will provide for her and her child. If she would but give the last that she has left for God's kingdom and trust that God will provide, He will bless her to the point where her jar will never run out. And so she did. Out of a willing and trusting heart, she gave all that she had left, and God blessed it, and He ensured that it never went empty again.

After hearing that God said it was okay to feel like giving up and asking Him to take the cup of servanthood from me, He then proceeded to tell me that if I would stop doing it out of my own strength, if I would but come to Him before I went to those in need, He would bless my jar, and even if I only have enough for one more piece of bread, for one more person, he would bless it so that I will never run empty.

If I would but trust in Him first.

WOW.

That to me was incredible.

Over the month of January I have learnt so much about the mindsets I have about certain things. And I have been open and receptive to let God move in my life so that I am working out of His good and perfect plan rather than my own flawed one.

I hope this provides some encouragement to you wherever you are in your walk of life and I am really looking forward to what this month is going to do.

Until later,

Michaela.