Procrastination 101

Do you ever have those days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you are just struggling to get any words out, maybe you have a LONG list of things to do and you don't even know where to start. And so you don't. You count down the minutes, the hours, constantly saying "I'll start just after this one last YouTube video"... "just one more chapter in my book"... "I'll just make some more food".

Yes?

Well that has been me. Except for almost a month now. It's difficult because I started this uni year on such a high, I was doing all my readings WAAAAY ahead of schedule, I wrote my assignments early, I got to uni early, never missed a class. And I don't know what happened but this whole organisation thing just... collapsed.

Here I was telling everyone else about how I can't understand how other people leave stuff to the last minute, about how silly it is that they can't just knuckle down and do it. When I really should have just been talking to myself. Or at least keeping my mouth shut.

I watched a video not too long ago by a YouTuber I've been following for a while. I'll link it here. Reece is generally a super upbeat girl, she works out, eats SUPER healthy, is super organised, but she hit a wall, and for about a month she just didn't post anything. Because she couldn't. She mentions how all she could do was ride out the wave until it finished. There was no breaking off early, telling yourself to do it or forcing your way out. You just had to sit, be patient, and keep going with what you can until its over.

I was beginning to think that this period I was in was naturally me. I started to think, "hey maybe I am just a super lazy girl". But when I stop and think about it. I am very driven. I am always pushing for something, whether it be good grades, extreme detail, a couple of better played notes in a song. I can never just settle with "that's okay" and many people have mentioned this to me.

So what is up? Why am I in this phase.

When I think about it, a lot of things have changed in my life at the moment. It's almost as if you've lifted off the blanket and the dust just needs to settle. We are still unpacking our house, I'm getting used to a new routine of getting up at 4:30am :( and I've started a super busy year at uni. I'm terrified of getting a bad grade because I feel like SO much is hanging on this year. But there's no pressure from anyone else. The pressure comes from me.

So I started something that has actually begun to help settle the dust. On Macbooks you can have your screen changed between different pictures. I downloaded a whole bunch of photos, verses, quotes, motivational stuff so that whenever I open up my computer, instead of being bogged down with the stuff I have to do, I have a gentle reminder of what is most important to get me set off on the right foot. I would TOTALLY suggest this. Though I am still fighting my way out of this rut that I am in, I'm learning to give it over to God, meet Him where I am, tell Him my emotions and then start to write.

So I'll leave you with two things.

1. One is another blogpost from a friend which inspired me to write this and gave me a leg up out of this rut I am in.

2. Secondly some of the photos that I chose to put as my wallpaper slideshow. Maybe you'll find something to help you too