Need some resources?

#everyoneneedshelp

This is so trueeeee! Sadly, though, I only realised this after I got married. Which is totally fine because there is no such this as too late. But I know now, looking back, that if I had of just ASKED for help, there are a lot of things that would have gone down better, questions I would have had answers to instead of trying to figure them out (wrongly) for myself.

I'm not saying that there is an answer to all of your problems and that you can go through life without making any mistakes of your own, but I have learnt that there is help out there, people who are dedicating their lives to making you #question.

If you go through life and no one questions you or challenges you to back up why you are doing the things you do, what kind of a life is that? No growth, no back up, and you are living off what you think is okay when in fact, it might not be.

I know this is a SUPER harsh way to start off a blog but I needed harsh to get out of my rut. So to carry on in a lighter manner, I've listed below all of the resources that have been INSANELY helpful to me as a married woman and resources that would have been soo good to have when I was a 'single woman'.

I wanted to sort these into Pre-Marriage/Marriage/General but to be honest there is so much overlap :P

1. Girl Defined

Oh my goodness how I WISH I had known about these girls a few years ago. Bethany and Kristen are two sisters from San Antonio, Texas who are passionate about showing young women how to live a godly life in a modern (non-godly) culture. They do videos on modesty, on finding your identity in Christ, makeup!, and praying for your future husband.

Even as a married women, I have listened to these videos and been inspired to live out my design as a Godly woman but also challenged on my habits. I never realised how much of a selfish person until really being confronted with it through these girls.

To make things even better they have TWO books, GirlDefined and Love Defined and an awesome blog. I would absolutely recommend this for ANY girl wanting some guidance on how to do life in this modern time in a godly way.

2. Lies Young Women Believe

This is kind of a tie in to the GirlDefined because Bethany actually writes for this blog too but this has been so challenging for me, especially the in the things society tells you and sometimes even what the church says. They deal with topics like, Is There Junk in Your Earbuds?, Perfectionism, keeping other people accountable and being accountable yourself, lying!!!!, and most importantly (in this day and age at least) how to stay in God's word when you feel 'too busy'.

Now I know that there are A LOT of links in this post. But I want you to go out of this feeling prepared. There ain't no excuses!! You don't have just the website link and you don't know where to start. I have set you up with KEY topics that I wish I had been challenged on.

Getting all up and personal here, I really struggle with lying. My ENTIRE life all I have wanted to do is please people, get good grades, not get in trouble and be everyone's favourite person - someone who has it all together. THIS is not the case and I fail this EVERY DAY. Lying stemmed out of this because it got me out of trouble - even small things like leaving out details that "didn't seem relevant". Little did I know that I wasn't just lying to my friends, family and husband, but I was dishonouring God.

3. Jefferson Bethke

Jeff is a YouTuber who I have been watching for donkey's years. He has stuff on Marriage with his wife - Alyssa, reading the bible, physical boundaries before marriage, and God's design for you.

To the best of my knowledge, he is also a trained pastor so there are videos from when he has gone to speak at schools as well. Gosh, this is honestly SO challenging and real. You see them do life together through their everyday vlogs, but also hear in-depth about some real issues.

One really cool thing is that they have written MANY books!! I'll link to their website so that you can check them all out. Personally, I haven't read them, but I have heard they are incredible from multiple other resources I have used and, judging by their videos, I can guarantee the content in the books would be just as incredible.

4. Fierce Marriage

I generally watch girl-oriented videos just because it helps me and challenges me to be a better godly woman and wife, but this has actually been a nice change for me - and something I can do with my husband! I got onto these guys from MarriageAfterGod (see number 6). At the moment I just have them on instagram, but having their daily encouragement come up on my feed has been so helpful and challenging. Instead of falling into the trap of mindlessly scrolling through posts and double-tapping. I intentionally read what they have to say and try to apply it to my day. Alongside this awesomeness, they too have a book!! One other thing I have been getting into recently is podcasts!! I generally have a 20-30 minute walk from the gym to uni, which is a perfect amount of time to listen to most of a podcast, if not all of it. I find it even more productive then just listening to music on the way up. Why not learn while you walk! :D These call all be found online or on Spotify :

There yah go :P no excuses now!! You already have a whole bunch of books and videos to go check out. But I ain't done yet!!!

5. Milena Ciciotti

I only recently (as in yesterday) found Milena's YouTube. Funny story, I actually 'watch later'ed one of her videos and yesterday decided (after a few months) to finally watch it. And was it life changing!! She mostly does Vlog's or makeup tutorials, just generally life, but she also has started incorporating her faith into her videos and I LOVE it. It is almost as if she has lived part of my life but in the states!! She met her now-husband when she was a teen, they waited for marriage, she got engaged when she was 19, married when she was 20! Like, please, tell me what is different!!!

I think that is the thing. For my stage in life, she is so relatable. But she talks about other things too, like moving in together before marriage (or at least not doing it), saving yourself for marriage, how to pray, how to take notes in church, how to study the bible and how to find a godly man.

She is so real, even opening up about the fact that her and her husband are fighting, not in detail. But just showing real life. That marriage isn't easy. But that it is so worth it.

I've loved having her up on instagram too. She has such style!!!!!! :D

6. Marriage After God/Unveiled Wife/Husband Revolution

Now I know this has been long, but I wanted to leave these guys till last. I have SO many that I could list, of which I will list some down below, but Aaron and Jennifer Smith have to be the most life-changing and influencing in my marriage at the moment. When my husband and I got married, it felt like we were in this little bubble of 'we can do this alone'. We didn't want outside influence, we wanted to make a path for ourselves in the great wide world. And in all honesty, it looked peachy on the outside but it was tough on the inside. We were selfish (and still are), got cranky with each other (and still do...) and we said some pretty awful things out of tiredness, financial insecurity and immaturity. We aren't perfect, no marriage or person ever is, but this whole 'doing it alone' thing isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

I found Marriage After God on instagram a few months back and just had their little pictures popping up that I would read through. But when I discovered they had a Youtube (that are also podcasts on Spotify), my life and our marriage LITERALLY changed. They went through some pretty similar challenges to Luke and I and I feel like a carbon copy of her! I am an introvert, I play the silent treatment game, I'm selfish, I indulge in food when I'm emotional. And I'm not saying I'm her, but having someone who went through similar things to what I was going through was hard-hitting. It's funny, I was working out at the gym during my husband's shift and I was listening to their first podcast - 6 Callings God Has For Your Marriage. I remember stopping my workout halfway through, almost balling my eyes out, walking up to my husband saying "I feel so convicted". Since that day, we have watched these podcasts and really been challenged to bring up issues we hadn't talk about before. I really feel like this marked a turning point in our marriage. We both reached out to an older Godly couple to walk alongside us in our marriage and we aren't perfect, but our marriage, I feel, is a Marriage (striving) After God.

What is pretty cool is that they have books - 2 of which we have bought - and individual instagram accounts giving daily encouragement to husbands and wives. If I could recommend anything for a married couple, it would be to dive into these guys podcasts, blog and instagrams (Unveiled Wife and Husband Revolution). I can not recommend them enough!

.

.

.

.

.

.

So that's it for now!! I'm going to list some more futher down after this spiel but I hope that you have enjoyed this post. I know how hard it is to go through life, not wanting to ask for help or just feeling stuck. #youarenotalone

Chris Palmer

Dale Partridge

Tyler Ward

Desiring God - in particular Ask Pastor John

Christianity Today

Until later xx